awake in the garden

by Rachel Lynch

i’ve always believed everything i wanted was meant for me, and i was resented for that. i have never doubted my creative power, and you hated me for it. a confidence given to me by a life of adamantine faith, and i quickly learned i could never teach what time had given me.

i have never felt so resented by someone, especially when all i did was try to share everything i had. i suppose there are some people who have awaken to their mortal limitations, while the rest of us artists and dreamers are still asleep in the garden.

i was raised by dreamers and hard-workers. they instilled in me that anything i wanted could be mine with vision, consistency and hard-work. my own vulnerability has rarely occurred to me. i know that most of this is privilege, some of it, persistence. i like to think of it as a combination of taking advantage of every opportunity, coupled with diligent effort day in and day out.

this past year has taught me that you can’t give that to someone else. it is only something that the passing of time, and perseverance through challenges can give.

if you can’t determine the motivations, look at the actions and infer the motivations. i have never been satisfied with simply getting by. i want to be great. i recognize my capacity for malevolence, and that makes me human. it also makes me powerful beyond measure. women don’t want weak and kind men, they want men who have met with their dark side and harnessed it into potential.

x x

in our house

by Rachel Lynch

life poses the question, “how to conduct yourself in the face of suffering?”

we are blessed beyond belief, it feels as if the pain we experienced before this time was all made up in our minds. the suffering was in our own house, of our own creation. man can make a heaven out of a hell, or a hell out of a heaven.

going through this free us of the illusion that life can be conducted without suffering.

x x

champagne for my real friends

by Rachel Lynch

Going to miss champagne and running around my city. This past week has made me so grateful for the small things- sunlight on my skin, warm food in my belly, simple movement, access to information, books, white sheets, a loving partner, a home with natural light.

I’m still going to play dress up, get creative, etc. But I also want to take this time to make myself a better person. More intelligent, more virtuous, more in touch with morality. Only then can we truly become a better artist.

<3