you can't fit a big dream into a small life

It's between you and you, nobody else is going to live your dream for you. To wake up each morning with purpose, to know the direction in which you're going. 

But sometimes, I slip. I fall in love, I wait around. It's a temporary seduction, hoping now I've finally met someone strong enough to pull me out of my own dreams and into theirs. 

But no, it's all an illusion. I've never met a man stronger than the will I have to live my dreams. I've searched so hard - in musicians, painters, photographers and businessmen. Any excuse to fall into love and out of my wild pursuit. There's an art to life's distractions. But at best, its inspiration for more art, a temporary distraction from my work. At worst, it's heartache and emotional growth. I can give love, but I always come back to myself. My self tells me I'm not finished, not yet. Nothing is settled and there's so much to do. When your passion for your purpose is so big, it's hard to balance it alongside another big love. 

You see, my art is my first love, and when I look out the window, I dream of her. 

xx 

sparkle bra by Agent Provacator

sparkle brief by Agent Provacator

suspender in nude & silver by Agent Provacator

when i'm with you

I waited for you. I waited for you to bring me up, take me around, and motivate my heart. 

But I think I was waiting for me. Trying to find all the love in you that I didn't have for myself. 

You left me high and dry, and I've longed for the day that I could look you in your face and say, "you did this to me." 

But maybe that's why my success was stagnant for so long, not in a place where I was ready to admit my mistakes and let go. Depression grips you like a current, dead in your own skin, and no matter how spiritual and powerful you think you are, it will always strip you down. The demons you create yourself are always more dangerous. 

You can no longer put your limitations on me, your limitations are dead to me. The diseased thinking that spreads across our shared bed. 

Holding on to things I don't need to, so I threw a funeral for them. I forget those things which are behind, and I press. I don't have nothing against you, I don't hate you. 

But I love me. 

lorna blue and peach bra by Agent Provacator

lorna suspender in blue and peach by Agent Provacator

lorna thong in blue and peach by Agent Provacator

electric dreams shag jacket by Lovers + Drifters Club

one true love

I know you're eager to make things perfect, but don't you know that good things take time, and love is no different. 

Lovers are patient, they know the moon needs time to become full. I am with you, even when we are apart. 

Do not beg for what does not want to stay. If she's wild let her go. You have complete freedom to not be in my presence, will pave the way for you to want to be. The ego seeks intimacy through control. 

I wish for my lover to be my passport, to travel as far as I wish without leaving our shared bed. 

xx

suspender lingerie set by Honey Birdette

the julia dress by Réalisation Par

la vie en arts

She broke her heart one too many times, endless boys and games. But she always put it back together with art. Creation - the mending glue that made everything make sense. 

She began expanding beyond photographs and words. She started writing songs and mixing paints. She didn't want to be the greatest at any of these, nevertheless, they gave her life meaning. 

Suspending her sorrows, so distant from the words she wants to write. It's easy to create a new life, one in which we don't have to feel. Even the vinyasa class moved too fast, she could never grasp the constant motion of it all. 

She stayed up all night, writing songs that the next day would be promptly ripped out of her notebook. She would take them back, but the feeling's dead. And the world rolls on, another day - space, distance and time. She prepares herself for Paris. 

xx 

disco jacket by Valfré

red lingerie set by Fleur du Mal

sparkle bra by Agent Provocateur

sparkle suspender by Agent Provocateur

sparkle brief by Agent Provocateur

"in the name of love"

He says he does it because "he loves me." They all do. They put you down in the name of love, the aggression, the backhanded compliments - all in the name of love. 

But caring about someone doesn't mean that you can control them. 

I'm afraid, I've lost myself.

Easy to find lovers, easy to let them down. They all want to posses you, own you, call you theirs. 

But I don't belong to anyone. I am mine.

Ambitions seek their soul satisfaction in control, but are you really happy? And you haven't known how to value the sacrifice that she was prepared to make for you. 

xx 

red satin lingerie set by Fleur du Mal

the bianca star shirt by Réalisation Par

flower dress by For Love and Lemons

jaipur kimono by Free People

lolita in july

Hey guys! I don't know about where you are, but it's been HOT in NYC! Which means I'm into crop tops galore. I'm going to include links below to shop everything I've been wearing! I'm so into brands like Réalisation Par and Equipment. I also recently purchased this bag by Rebecca Minkoff that I've been taking everywhere from the gym to out to dinner. 

I hope you all have a fantastic week, I've got a lot more street style coming your way soon.

xx

bianca lip top by Réalisation Par

Kiera front tie blouse by Equipment

regan satchel bag by Rebecca Minkoff

denim by GRLFRND

red platforms by Just Fab

treat me like fire

The complexities of life pull us in opposite directions, but I hold on to you like I do not know the meaning of distance. 

You can see quite nakedly, my simple preoccupation with my own affairs. I was betraying you before I won you over. If only staying with you would confirm all the comforting things you had told me. 

But I'm not the same as you, too wild to ride the wave of good intentions. I slip from my art into your arms, and promptly forget all that I had accomplished that day. 

Love betrays itself involuntarily, and I move across the country again.

xx 

photos by Shooka

summer of love

Inspired by all things summer, and all things rock and roll, I picked a few of the new frames from zero uv to style for all you babes. Hopefully it makes you want to wear weird sunglasses, play music, take pictures, and dance around in the heat. We're really feeling the warm here in New York, and I love the way the sun comes into my loft when I'm painting and writing music. I love playing dress up, especially with sunglasses. 

I hope you're all having a summer filled with creativity and love. I'm always here if you need a friend, or a loving push to be creative and inspired. 

xx 

all sunglasses available on zero uv

the sound of settling

I want to take a long trip, without it being running away. I'm happy in the state I'm in, a romantic with no one new to love, just friendships to nourish. 

When your lover leaves you for someone with more success, you cling to the very simple things that make you feel alive. A deep breath that fills you entire body, the sound of your heart beating in your chest. The moments that make you feel like you know what it's like to be alive, after living for someone else for so long. 

He says he loves you, so you drop everything else. 

Where is my mind, still in some love affair? Still a part of you? 

xx 

lingerie set by Honey Birdette

the after party

Recently, I acquired the Sweet Cheeks Kit and new Glow Mask from frank bod. They've got an incredible mix of everything from a face mask to a moisturizer. I particularly love the Creamy Face Scrub, it's just like their Original Coffee Scrub for your body, but much more gentle since it's for your face! I also really love the Glow Mask, because it smells like cake. (Rihanna would approve.) 

I've been solely using their skin care line for a little over a week now and I've stayed breakout free despite summer rosé every night. I think it's worth giving their products a try. Usually, I just run to the drug store when I need a new face wash, but make the extra effort and do a little something just for you. 

xx