We move from morning to evening with ease, the sorrows surrounding us slip away. We dine on white walls, fresh wood floors, and the smell of a bustling street. It is springtime, and we are in love again.
I’m doing my best to be healthy, and you’re doing your best to take care of me. It’s only a matter of time before I slip from my immediate surroundings into a sing-song world in my head.
But my love for you, these past four years, has always pulled me out of there. I’ve lost the identity of “psychiatric patient” and I get to be normal with you. I get to have a home, nice things and food to eat. My belly is always full with wine, affection, affluence.
Inside, I am cold. The kind of cold that develops after the world has forced you to be strong. I am hard in all the places I was once broken, this also makes me hard to love. I miss the ease of mental-illness, the way it took up all my time.
Now, I have to enjoy the sunshine, the world- the people in it. I have to be kind where I once would hide, show my face even on the bad days.
I don’t wear makeup the way I used to, my brows are thick, and my body is strong. I can do a push up. My arms can lift, and my legs can carry me.
Someday when I slide the rest of my fragility off, I will be dangerous. Very dangerous. A force to be reckoned with, an incredible artist with a room of her own and a strong love at her side.
today’s look. i’m obsessed with these pants from dolls kill. i love a chain/ harder masculine vibe. my shirt/robe is an old house of harlow piece, and i’ve worn it in every single way possible. i’ve even worn it as a dress during revolve week!
anyways, i love you all. trying to get back more into fashion/looks.
i’ve missed who i was/ who i am becoming.
My favorite hot bikini of the season and of course, I paired it with a big chanel and cowboy boots. I’m loving all the western trends and big accessories. My earrings are giant pink butterflies from dolls kill.
Everyone enjoy this beautiful tuesday.
lucid pink bikini top by minimale animale
lucid bikini bottom by minimale animale
speaking to each other in the hidden tongue, we are manifestations of the ideal. both rhythm and fall out. both celestial bodies and creatures of the night.
we sleep till noon and say i love you too soon. entire days spent sans-phone, hand in hand.
first cups of coffee, smells of summer. central park to soho. everything illuminated. jean jackets and drinks. late nights and white sheets. rolls of film and train rides.
slip into the season like you slip into a new love.
some recent film snaps. i’ve taken a small 2 week hiatus from shooting / producing content. i’m busy building my new house into a dream land, and really excited to get back to shooting this week.
i’ve been in such a weird / distracted place. not exactly creating what i want / not having my body where i know it needs to be. this week feels like a new beginning. a light. i’m all set up in my new loft and feeling creative. i want to make beautiful images and perhaps do another book. last time i wrote a book with images was 2016, when i moved into the wooster street loft.
perhaps its time to make another. i’d love to make it cheaper this time/ more accessible. let me know your thoughts.
Some recent looks I shot just wandering around the neighborhood last week. All on film. The change of seasons has me inspired to wear cool outfits. I’m shooting some new looks on Wednesday as well. Feeling glam and fab and fresh!
happy monday my silly blondes!
you can shop these looks on my depop!