NOTES TO SELF: 11/17/11

by Rachel Lynch in


You are too thin to smoke cigarettes.

Don’t eat macrons. It’s not cute and is by no means fashionable.

Check that’s there is toilet paper in the bathroom BEFORE you sit your ass on the toilet.

Stop buying $12 umbrellas from Duane Reade every time it rains. You already have four.

Don’t tweet about the asshole sitting next to you until you get home. It’s awkward when they see it and tweet back.

Don’t tell guys you’re vegan. They don’t know what it means and it’s not attractive.

Do reference random republican candidates in conversation; it makes it appear as if you follow politics.

Never mind…. it just makes people think you’re republican.

Are you republican?

Is it the same as being catholic?

Anyways….

If someone brings up the fact they support occupy wall street, the conversation should end. Immediately.

Stop wearing heels on the subway. You’re only making your own life more difficult.