"Land of the Stupid, Home of the Brave"

by Rachel Lynch in

Ready, White, Blue. I don't want to go to bed. It's better to kick ass then get your ass kicked. Valley girl sass, threw it in the trash. Screw taking a cab, I'll get to jogging. I can only spit when I run, and I've got the will to run till I'm dead and done. Come ready to play. I'm gonna make it my business to prove you wrong. Wilder things have happened. She is from the west. She is dangerous. You do it because you're alive, you do it because you're America. I'm high off life. Go earn your PHD. It's every man for himself in this country. Look em in the eye when they're talking to you. Take a founding father out to a chicken dinner in Philly and tell em how you feel about Sarah Palin. Take a number, kick an atheist in the brain. Do a little stem-cell research and get prescribed some medical marijuana. Fail the immigration exam and put that on the hood. Turn on Fox news in your hotel room and hang a Warhol in the office of your exorcist. Teach Sunday school, motherfucker and preach evolution. Show the world how to make it in America.