by Rachel Lynch in

baby macHappy Valentine's Day Hoes! You probably don't have as many boyfriend as me this holiday... but it's nothing to be sad about. Less boyfriends = less people you have to make time for. I hope you've got today filled with cards, toys and candies (not too much candy... the idea is what counts on this one.) (REMEMBER: Chocolates look a lot cuter the in the box then they do on your thighs.) But I DO recommend Pink Champagne. If you can't afford that, Trader Joe has some cute pink moscato on sale today for $5. (Your bitch will think you're cheap... but she'll get the point. ) If you're where it's cold out, grab a pink bottle and have a cozy night in <3 #romantic #netflixlifestyle..... But if you're a barbie doll & have more than one valentine.... you need to take all your men to the most expensive hotel club & dress like pink foxes. Lick lollypops (no #fat) & enjoy being with the ones you love... #gay #straight #bi #unicorn  or #panda !!

suck on that, bitches