It's amazing how close I bring myself to death just to feel a little alive. I just want things to be back to the way they used to be. The truth is, I felt so alive with you. I've already stopped wearing clothes. They hang on my body in ways I don't relate to. You sort of filled everything in this way nothing could. I read Paradise Lost with my head on your chest. Skin to skin under the sun's warm excellence.
I thought we were going everywhere, but the truth is we were traveling no where. With you, I was the sun girl. The precious, pale child who was content in not caring. Now I have opinions and feelings of loss. These things were never a part of me before, I struggle to fit them into my identity. Carmel dripping down my spine, I have known the taste of pure happiness. But now, it was lost in the salt of the sea burning under the sun. The pure lemon golden aura had faded into a blue dust that subtly engulfed my room.
cosmic dancer ice cream suit by Filthy Magic
pink kitten shades by Wildfox Couture
sun-dyed cape from Topshop-Soho
photos by Rebecca Michelle Ganellen