blondes have better birthdays

by Rachel Lynch in

Celebrate life and crash with no seatbelt. Midwest it up in the elevator, texas toast and a pant-less host. Bitches in glasses with glasses of vodka, no coaster, no lenses. Call your Mom at 2AM and bring various NFL players up to your hotel room to eat your room service. Golden crowns, glitter and cigarette breaks where you meet out of state bitches. Have you heard the stories?

Yeah, I heard a lot of them and I don't believe a word.

xoxo, bitches