That smile is a sign that you're selling out. Isn't life better on the dark side? The parts of the mind that remind us of hell are far more interesting than the happy-go-lucky-teacup spinning smiles, right? It's all disney world trapped inside a plastic package.
I'm still breathing, but it's hard to do so inside this plastic box. So I knife a hole in the wrapper around me and run, escape. Jump out a second-story window and just run at 2 in the morning through the pitch black. Beat up anything in my path, who knows when I'll run out of gas. You wouldn't just expect me to sit here with these feelings would you? I've never sat still before, I don't know why I would start now. And I think I built the fence a little late, the demons are already in here and it's hard for them to escape.
Watch your step. It's not pretty here now, but it will be someday.